Playing With A Wild Manatee

Since moving to the Florida Keys, and especially since becoming a boater on the Florida Bay, I have had the chance to see an abundance of wildlife including birds, dolphins, sharks and manatees. Scott and I once followed the progress of a pair of osprey and their young…from the building of the nest to the one surviving youngling attempting to take his first flight. We once witnessed a wild dolphin show complete with jumps and twists like something you would see at Sea World. But my most memorable wildlife encounter to date was the time a manatee stopped by to play with us.

We were onboard Idle Hours, anchored in Sunspotz Cove. It had been a great tie-up party earlier in the day. Three other boats had joined us and we had been swimming and playing all day. It was late afternoon and everyone else had left. Scott and I decided to stay and swim just a little longer and catch the sunset. It was a beautiful evening. I was getting us each a drink and preparing to join Scott in the water when I noticed what appeared to be a very large gray rock immediately underneath him. Just as I was saying to him, “Hey Scott, I don’t remember that big rock…” a manatee surfaced and I shouted, “There is a manatee right behind you!”

At this point in the story, I probably should have gotten the camera. Instead, I sat down the drinks, grabbed my noodle chair and quietly climbed down the ladder into the water. Meanwhile, after allowing Scott to scratch it’s back, the manatee had gone back under the water but had not swum off. As I floated toward Scott, suddenly I was face to face with the manatee and as he blew out his surfacing breath, I could smell his bad breath! Of course, I began scratching and petting him. Scott did the same. We just floated there in our noodle chairs, hugging and rubbing on this manatee. At one point he flipped over and presented his belly for us to scratch and rub. He stayed there with us for about ten minutes, and then he swam several circles around us before lazily swimming off. He didn’t want food or water he just wanted to play! It was magical!

Bicycle Follies

So, I'm waking up on Saturday morning, a little hungover from the Full Moon party the night before. Scott's already gone, but bless his heart, he left me hot coffee in the carafe. He left before 8 a.m. for Cheeca Lodge to set up for their Earth Day celebration. After our late night, I hoped he wasn't feeling as bad as I was. But, I remembered he had been working most of the night and hadn't drunk as much as I had. Even so, I knew he was worn out…I was feeling for him.

Donna called and we commiserated with each other and blamed Pierre's chocolate martinis AGAIN. They hurt us every time but we keep drinking them because they are just so damned good. Between the two of us, we piece together all the events of the party the night before. "The fireworks were great." "Did I see the fireworks?...oh yeah! I remember, they were awesome!" Stuff like that.

I hang up and decide to go for a bike ride. It's a glorious day and I think it would make me feel better to get some fresh air and some exercise. Fully sun-screened, I put two bottles of water in a small cooler and place cooler, cell phone and house keys in my bike basket and off I go.

The bike path is finally open to the north so I decide to go that direction. The day is absolutely beautiful, a nice breeze blowing and very little traffic on the bike path. After a while I stop in the shade for a drink of water and check the time. I've been riding almost 30 minutes and I wanted to ride an hour, so it's almost time to turn around. I ride just a little further up the path, and then make a leisurely turn to head back the other way. As I turn, my front wheel goes off the path and hits some loose gravel. You know that feeling when you are falling and it seems like slow motion? It was like that. I knew the bike was going down, almost caught it, then went right down on my knee. In coral gravel.

I got up immediately, thinking, "Whew, that could have been bad, I'm glad I wasn't hurt." Then I look down at my knee. Then I pull the walnut sized piece of gravel out of my knee. It's kind of numb and doesn't start to bleed, so I tell myself it is fine and get back on the bike and start riding south. After a few seconds I look down and there is blood running into my shoe. I say, "F**k, f**k, f**k, f**k…" and on like that for a few more seconds, then think, "What am I going to do?" I'm still 30 minutes from home and I have a huge bleeding hole in my knee.

As I pass the Key Lime Products store at MM95, I decide there really is no other choice, so I pull my bike up to the door and go in. I walk up to the counter and ask the woman working there if I could trouble her for a paper towel and kind of gesture toward my leg. She looks down, gasps, then hands me several paper towels and offers the use of her bathroom. I thank her profusely and take her up on it. In the bathroom I take a good look. It is pretty bad. The skin is actually curled under inside the gash…it looks really weird. I wash it as best I can with soap and paper towels and sort of get the bleeding stopped.

When I walk out of the bathroom, the lady working there is waiting and offers me a band-aid (I can't believe I didn't get her name. She was so nice. I intend to go back and thank her and buy something! They have really cute stuff…if you are local, go buy something from them.) There were two woman sitting having coffee at the counter and one of them says how it must hurt. I say, "You know, it looks like it should, but it is actually numb." Then I say (just to gage their reaction really,) "I'm wondering if I need stitches." They all agree that I probably do. Damn.

There is really nothing to do but get back on the bike and ride home. I knew I could call Steve or Donna and they would come get me, but it didn't seem that bad. As I'm riding, the band-aid starts to come off. I have to keep reaching down and patting it to keep it stuck on. Other than the mantra of "F**k, f**k, f**k…," the ride is kind of a blur. I was so mad at myself and so not looking forward to the prospect of an emergency room visit.

I finally make it home and have a chance to really look at my knee. I try to tell myself that I just need to get it cleaned up and maybe it's not as bad as it looks. Then I realize there seems to be bits of gravel embedded in the raw skin. Then I pull the folded skin out of the cut and stop what I'm doing immediately, grab my purse and keys and head to the hospital.

It was my very first time as a patient in an emergency room. Luckily they were not busy and they took me in right away. The doctor came in and said, "We're going to numb it up, clean it up, then sew it up." And that's what he did. Once he numbed it with tiny needle pricks all around my knee, which did hurt a little, I watched him clean it out. Whatever he used to numb it was amazing. The wound was immediately numb. He pulled up the flap and used tweezers to pull quite a lot of gravel and coral pieces out, and I didn't feel a thing. Then he squirted liquid into it and washed it good, then started stitching. I had never watched anyone stitch me up before…it was kind of fascinating. (It's funny how the mind works. As I watched him sew my skin, I was thinking of movies I've seen where the hero stitches up his own wounds, and how I didn't think that was something I could ever do.)

The topic of bicycle accidents was readily discussed by everyone I encountered during my visit at the hospital. From the receptionist, two different nurses (including a really cute male nurse who bandaged me up!) to the doctor himself, I heard horror stories of bike accidents. The most common apparently is being hit by a car. It seems that happens a lot here in the Keys. Also, the doctor had some funny stories of people who were riding their bike because they were too drunk to drive. According to him, the law is cracking down on biking under the influence. Of course the doctor asked me if I wore a helmet and of course I said no, although I might be considering knee pads after this.

Seven stitches later, a bandage on my knee and a band-aid on my shoulder from the tetanus shot, I was headed to CVS with an antibiotic prescription. The doctor thought with the sheer amount of gravel and dust he found that both the tetanus shot and the antibiotics were necessary. Later, finally at home settled on the couch, I had time to reflect that my day had certainly not gone the way I had expected. But, my hangover was gone.

Movie Reviews

A few winters ago, Scott and I were both sick with the flu for almost 10 days. Since we didn’t feel up to doing anything except lay on the couch, we watched a lot of movies. Thankfully, Scott wasn’t quite as sick as me and he was actually able to drag himself to Blockbuster every few days to keep us in entertainment. Don’t get me wrong, he was pretty sick himself. But, if left to my own devices, I would have been stuck with mindless TV or staring at the ceiling. I was one sick girl.

We did watch a lot of movies during those 10 days, so in an effort to just keep them all straight in my own head, once I started feeling a little better I began writing down the highlights. It ended up as a sort of movie review which I thought my friends might enjoy. Perhaps someone can benefit from our many hours of movie viewing. I have considered trying to continue some sort of movie review column in my blog, because even when we are healthy, Scott and I do watch a lot of movies. Let me know if you find these helpful at all, and if you would like for me to continue giving my thoughts on Hollywood's creations for your consideration...

The Amateurs –
This is one of the funniest movies I have seen in a while. With chests full of congestion we had agreed to avoid comedies because it hurt to laugh. Scott came home with this one not really knowing much about it except that a group of guys set out to make an amateur porno movie…how funny could that be? Oh my god. The cast includes some of my favorite actors: Jeff Bridges, Tim Blake Nelson, William Fichtner, Joe Pantoliano (Joey Pants) and Ted Danson (who plays the homosexual friend pretending to be a macho man.) The running narration by Jeff Bridges is funny by itself. Don’t miss a word because it’s all hilarious. This is my favorite Jeff Bridges role since The Dude. From their friends nicknames like "Some Idiot" and Moose, to the 2 inseparable guys named Mo and Ron who they call "MoRon," the running dialog is full of cliché’s and porn terminology that will have you holding your sides laughing.

American Gangster –
I thought this was a really good movie. Denzel Washington was wonderful. He played the tough but smart mob boss very believably. Russell Crow was good too as the gritty determined cop. His Jersey accent kind of came and went, but otherwise I was quite impressed with him. It was one of those movies where you are pulling for both the good guy and the bad guy at the same time because both have good and bad qualities, and the true "bad guy" may not be who you think.

Beowulf-
This movie is visually stunning. The "animation" was original and really gave a quality to the movie it wouldn’t have had if it had just been filmed normally. I love Anthony Hopkins, and he played the crude disgusting king Hrothgar fantastically. Robin Wright Penn was beautiful as always, animated or not, and played the sad, resigned queen very well. Ray Winstone was Beowulf. I can’t say I know him, even though he has apparently been around for quite a while, but hubba hubba…As the young and virile warrior, he looked amazing. And, speaking of looking amazing, Angelina Jolie as Grendel’s mother, fully nude and slightly animated was breathtaking. John Malkovich rounds out the all-star cast. If you don’t expect it to follow the exact story line of the classic tale, you won’t be disappointed with this film.

The Darjeeling Limited-
Of all the movies we watched this week, I think this was my favorite. It is very quirky and off the wall, one of those movies you either love or hate. Owen Wilson is fantastic. Adrien Brody and Jason Schwartzman are both very good too. They play brothers trying to re-connect one year after the death of their father and disappearance of their mother. But there is so much more going on. The dialog between the three is hilarious, and their bumbling attempts to find spirituality in India is so farcical and yet so deep at the same time. They finally meet up with Mom, played by Angelica Huston, who is wonderful as always. This movie is funny, touching and thought provoking…I thoroughly enjoyed it.

Fido-
This was probably the biggest surprise of the week for me. Those of you who know me know that I do not do "eat brains" movies. I almost vetoed it when Scott brought it home, but I’m so glad I gave it a chance. If you’ve seen "The Night of the Living Dead" this movie picks up as a sort of sequel to it. People still turn in to zombies when they die, but society has discovered how to control and even domesticate the zombies. The premise is so ridiculous, and what little bit of blood and brain and flesh eating shown is so light and silly, even I wasn’t grossed out. Carrie Ann Moss was a happy surprise, as was Tim Blake Nelson with his zombie "girlfriend." Billy Connolly plays Fido, the zombie with the heart of gold. I highly recommend this one.

The 40 Year Old Virgin-
We missed this one when it came out a while back. I knew it would be cute, but really expected it to be more stupid than funny. I laughed so hard! This is a really good movie. Steve Carell is great. I love Catherine Keener and thought her part was fantastic. The situations that this poor guy’s friends get him into are so funny. But, it is also heart-warming and has a good message. I very much enjoyed it.

Letters From Iwo Jima-
This is the story of the battle of Iwo Jima, but told from the perspective of the Japanese. I’m not a big war movie fan, but this was very well done. It was an interesting feeling finding myself thinking of the Americans as the enemies and pulling for the Japanese hero. I think that was the point of the movie, to show that there are human beings on both sides in war, which is very poignant and appropriate even today. There is a scene where the Japanese soldiers choose to kill themselves instead of retreating, which was hard for me to fathom, and prompted my fevered exclamation of "stupid Japanese!" Overall, I thought this was an excellent movie.

Michael Clayton-
I’m a big George Clooney fan, and this movie does not disappoint. We did watch this one when I was in the worst moments of my sickness and fever, so parts of it are a little dreamy to me. I will probably give it another watch later on to catch more of the nuances. But, the plot is very good and the acting superb. I thought Clooney’s portrayal of the burnt out "janitor" was excellent. He plays a "fixer" for a large law firm, handling dirty jobs and cleaning up messes for the firm. He gets involved in one of the largest class action suits the firm has handled, and starts to find out things he was never supposed to know…things that could bring the firms client down, as well as endanger his career and his very life. Watching him struggle with doing the right thing, amid a host of other problems in his personal life, was very well done.

Slipstream-
Anthony Hopkins wrote, directed and starred in this film, and I’m such a huge fan of his I was determined to love it. But, this was my least favorite movie of the week. I found it very disjointed and hard to follow. I realize it was supposed to be chaotic, and maybe I just didn’t really get it. Basically, Anthony Hopkins is a screen play writer and the lines between reality and the movie he is writing start to blur. Pretty good premise, and a good supporting cast including Christian Slater, Michael Clarke Duncan and John Turturro, but I just found it too confusing to really be enjoyable.

Summer of ’42-
This is a classic old movie from 1971 that I had never seen. It’s a coming of age story of a 15 year boy. It starts out showing the innocence of 3 young boys spending the summer on Nantucket Island in 1942. Like normal 15 year old boys, they are obsessed with sex, but know basically nothing about it. The more mature of the 3 is also obsessed with a young woman on the island whose husband has just gone off to war. One of the boys steals a book from his parents’ library that has graphic pictures and they try to educate themselves with it. One of the boys is very immature and can’t handle it, but the other 2 set out to use their newly found knowledge. Without spoiling anything, suffice it to say that they both lose their virginity that summer, with very different results. One "gets laid" and one becomes a man. I was pleasantly surprised by how much I enjoyed this movie.

Death At A Funeral-
I really enjoyed this movie. It is very English and set at a funeral, as the title implies. It centers around a family at the funeral of the family patriarch...innocent enough, but then things start to go wrong. Starting when one of the nieces gives her fiancé what she thinks is a valium from her brothers apartment, only to find out that said brother is a pharmacist in training and making tailored hallucinogenic drugs. The fiancé, Alan Tudyk (known to many of us as Wash from Firefly) thinks he is losing his mind as he begins to seriously trip on the way to the funeral. Then the midget shows up (sorry, I almost didn’t write a review on this movie because I knew I would have to write about the midget…"little person" just doesn’t have the same comedic ring, so I’m going with midget, pc or not)…anyway, then the midget shows up and announces to the sons that he was their fathers gay lover and demands money or he will tell the whole family, and he has pictures to prove it. I was literally laughing out loud as these events, and many others, including the bathroom scene with the old crotchety uncle you just know is going to die on the toilet, unfolded in hilarity. From director Frank Oz, I highly recommend this movie.

No Country For Old Men-This is a Coen Brothers movie, so I’ll just say that, like all of their movies, I need to see it again to truly appreciate it. I don’t know what it is about their movies, but both their comedies and their darker movies need more than one viewing to really "get it." In a nutshell, a hunter stumbles across a drug deal gone very wrong. The drug dealers have all killed each other and he finds $2 million dollars in cash and a truck full of heroin. He takes the money. Through a series of unfortunate events, a hit man looking for the drug money finds out who took it and begins to hunt him down, killing anyone and everyone who gets in his way. Javier Bardem, who plays the hit man, is fantastic. This character is a very bad man, but there is something about him that is hard to fathom. It’s as if he feels no remorse or guilt over what he does, but then you see tears in his eyes and the strangest look of sadness or fear when he thinks he will be forced to kill the sheriff, played by Tommy Lee Jones. I found Bardem’s acting very impressive, not so sure about Tommy Lee Jones. I will stop now and just say that I very much enjoyed this movie, certainly recommend, and will definitely watch again.

Bee Movie-
Very funny! This animated movie has an all-star cast of voices and is just plain funny. The jokes are great. The story is pretty good, and the animation is fine, and it is just funny. Some of the animated movies have been disappointing lately, but this one does not disappoint. The cast includes Jerry Seinfeld, Renee Zellweger, Matthew Broderick, Patrick Warburton, John Goodman, Chris Rock (who plays the mosquito who teaches Barry B. how to hitch rides on the windshields of cars without being killed in the process) and so many more. There is even a Larry King Bee, and Sting playing himself and having to explain to the bees what makes him "sting." This movie is a must see.

A Sweetwater Christmas

~(Written December, 2007... As told to me by my Uncle Charles when I was a child. This story took place when he was 10 years old. Uncle Charlie will be 80 next spring, so the setting is Sweetwater, Tennessee in December of 1938.)~

I was asleep in my bed when I heard someone banging on the front door. I figured it was about midnight. Pretty late for company. I laid there in my bed with the covers pulled up almost over my face to keep my nose warm, but made sure to leave my ears uncovered so I could hear what was going on.

I heard Daddy cussing then heard his heavy limp across the front room, then heard him open the door. Daddy had been laid up with his foot for a while, and had trouble getting around. All I could hear were muffled mens voices, then the sounds of several people coming into the house and the door shutting. I was dying to know what was going on, but I couldn't hear anything that was being said and after a while I started to drift back to sleep.

My Uncle Bug woke me up shaking my shoulder and saying "Get up and get dressed boy. Then grab the coal bucket and come on out front." I don't know how long I had been asleep but it didn't seem like long. I jumped out of bed, rubbing the sleep out of my eyes and started getting dressed. As I made my way to the front room I couldn't help wonder what was going on and what it had to do with me. I tiptoed past Momma's room. I knew she was awake but she had baby Claude in bed with her and I didn't want to wake him.

(Interjection here...baby Claude is my father. He was born 2 1/2 months premature. In 1938 there wasn't much they could do for a baby born that early. I'm told he was so small that a man could hold him on the palm of his hand. The hospital sent him home telling the family not to get too attached to him because he probably wouldn't live a year. Baby Claude will be 70 next spring.)

I went out to the kitchen and grabbed the coal bucket. As I did, I noticed how low the coal in the bin was getting. It had been a cold winter already. And with Daddy out of work with his hurt foot there wasn't much money to buy more any time soon.

When I walked into the front room the men stopped talking. There was Daddy in his chair with his foot propped up, Uncle Bug was standing by the door, and Granddaddy was sitting on the couch with some other guy I had seen but didn't know his name. Daddy saw me walk in and said, "Come over here son." I walked over and him and Granddaddy just looked at me till I started feeling kind of funny. Uncle Bug made a little cough noise and then Granddaddy stood up. Daddy said, "You need to go help the men tonight. I can't go anywhere with this foot so you have to go in my place. Get your coat and go on now."

I still had no idea what was going on but I could tell it was important and I knew I had to be a man. Bundling up in my coat and hat, and carrying my empty coal bucket, I followed the other men out the door. I turned and looked back at Daddy and I could tell by the look on his face that he didn't like it one bit that he wasn't the one going. But there was nothing to do about it so he just waved at me and I closed the door behind me.

We walked all the way across town to where the railroad first came into the town proper. I had been listening as they talked on the walk over and I was starting to get an idea what was happening. As the trains approached Sweetwater they slowed down and went real slow through town, then picked back up speed as they exited on the other side. I could hear a train whistle in the distance and looked up at my Granddaddy. He gave me a grim little smile and said, "Get ready boy."

As the lights of the train came into view, I saw Uncle Bug start running down the tracks away from the rest of the men, toward the oncoming train. Everybody knew that he had spent time hobo'ing and nobody in town knew more about hopping trains than Bug Alexander. When the train got close and slow enough, Uncle Bug jumped on the train and proceeded to climb up on top of the cars and walked back to the coal car. There he was standing up on top of that big pile of coal that was coming slowly closer to us and I knew for sure what I was there to do.

Uncle Bug started kicking that coal as fast as he could and as it came falling down beside the tracks I picked it up and put it in the bucket. I looked down the tracks and couldn't believe I hadn't noticed that people were lined up all the way through town filling up their bags, buckets or whatever else they could find to hold coal. I filled my bucket as quick as I could. There was Bug up there just kicking coal like a madman, and he kept it up all the way to the other side of town where he finally jumped off as the train started to speed back up.

I looked around and saw the faces of all those people and I knew what that coal meant to them, just like I knew what it meant to my family. The poor people of Sweetwater would stay warm that winter thanks to the efforts of one man, my Uncle Bug.

"Dad-gum, It's a Bass!"

When I was growing up, my family lived out in the country. My grandparents lived nearby and owned a lot of the property all around where we lived. Summers were spent roaming the woods and pastures picking blackberries, playing fort or explorers, wiling the days away, catching June bugs by day and lightening bugs at night. Most summers there were several cousins staying with the grandparents, so between my two brothers and visiting cousins, there were always plenty of play mates.

I remember one summer in particular that was a lot of fun. I was probably about 10 years old. For some reason or other, my older brother Kenneth and I had become keenly interested in fishing. We had dug out two or three old fishing rods from Granddaddy's tool shed that hadn't been used in years. We cleaned them up and got them in working order. We even found an old tool box that we used as a tackle box. Then we had to convince our parents to give us money for hooks, floats, line, artificial lures and various and sundry items imperative to our new hobby.

And, so, we became fishermen. Every morning, fairly early, the two of us would set off for the pond for a full day of fishing. If memory serves, I don't think I caught more than 3 fish all summer, and those were too small to keep. But, I was just so thrilled that Ken was including me and so happy to be spending time with my big brother that I didn't even really care if I caught anything or not. Well, I cared a little. Ken actually became pretty good at it and usually caught something. He even caught enough occasionally for Grandmother to fry up for dinner.

We had been absorbed in our new interest for about a month when two of our cousins came to stay for the rest of the summer. Gwen was 14 and Steve was about 12. We quickly got them interested in fishing too and after finding a couple more rods and reels in the tool shed, we set down for some serious fishing the rest of the summer.

I suppose I should give a short description of the pond where we spent so much of our time. It was a good size man-made pond, stocked with bass and bream. There were some old trailers off to one side where some people had lived once but had since left them deserted. The pond was filled by a branch flowing into it. At the spot where the branch flowed in, there was a make-shift bridge over the gap so you could walk all the way around the pond without getting your feet wet. The bridge was a strange sort of contraption. It consisted of two long metal poles laid across the gap with board planks placed at uneven intervals across it to step on. You had to take pretty big steps to make it from plank to plank, and a lot of times folks ended up with more than wet feet if their steps weren't big enough…or their balance wasn't good enough. There was no hand rail of any kind. Well, like I said, the bridge was a little tricky to cross it you weren't careful. None of us seemed to have problems with it except for Stevie. It seemed like every time the poor boy tried to cross that bridge he fell in! Hardly a fishing day passed without him getting at least one foot, if not his whole body, wet from slipping on the bridge.

One day we were all fishing, as usual, but that day we were all frustrated because it was the third or fourth day in a row that nobody had caught a single fish. And before that, we had all been on a run of catching only bream too small to keep. On this particular day, everybody had sat down in various spots around the pond and we were just lazily casting off and reeling in, not really expecting a bite. Gwen and I had each pulled a concrete block up to the edge of the water to sit on. Kenneth was sitting on an overturned cooler near the little bridge. And Steve, wonder of wonders, had crawled out to the center of the bridge, without getting wet, and lounged out there with his line in the water.

The day was hot and muggy. It was quiet except for the normal sounds of flies buzzing, cicadas chirping and bull frogs croaking. We had been sitting that way, nearly dozing, for a couple of hours when suddenly Steve jumped up, began pulling and reeling in his line, and dancing around on the bridge that he usually couldn't even walk on. We all got up and ran over to where he was to see what the commotion was all about. He was pulling in a largemouth bass nearly big enough to pull him in! All this time, he had been pulling and jumping, with his mouth hanging open, too shocked and excited to say anything. When he finally saw the size of the fish coming up out of the water on the end of his line, the only speech he could even manage was to shout over and over, "Dad-gum, it's a bass! Dad-gum it's a bass!"

For a long time after that, any time the four of us were together, somebody would tell that story. And for years, it became kind of a tag line in our family. If there was a lull in conversation, somebody would yell, "Dad-gum, it's a bass!" We would all laugh and see, once again, little Stevie jumping up and down on that bridge and try to recapture, just for a moment, some of the magic of that summer.

Just Scribbles

A while ago, I went back through some of my old writings, or scribbles as I call them. Just bits of poem or verse I've written over the years. A lot of them are sad or angst-y. Unfortunately, unhappiness has always been more of a muse to me than happiness. Which explains why I don't write as much these days. As my brother Mark so eloquently put it, it's a "blessing curse."

So these scribbles are posted here to be read or not, but hopefully not to be judged too harshly. Writing has always been my therapy, so it's primarily just for me. Some of it, Scott has seen worthy of putting to music, which is an indescribable thrill. With luck, we'll hit upon something else that will suit itself to song, but as I said, it's just my scribbles. Maybe you will like them.

The first one here, "Morning" is one of the songs Scott and I have written together. It can be heard on Scott's website: http://www.scottyoungberg.com/.

MORNING

This morning as the sunlight fell on your sleeping head
You looked just like an angel as you lay there in my bed
The rays of morning sun they filled your golden hair with light
I sighed and breathed you in and wrapped my arms around you tight

I remembered how you looked the night before had drove me wild
Now that peaceful smile it made you look just like a child
I didn't want to move or speak or somehow break the spell
But your warm body brought that feeling of desire I know so well

I pulled you even closer and put feather kisses on your cheek
The feel of your smooth skin it was enough to make me weak
And then your eyes were open and they were smiling into mine
I said good morning to you and then I lost all track of time

OBSESSION

The lady sees your face in her dreams;
She's obsessed with you it seems.
Maybe you have changed your mind
Since you went off and left her behind.

Do you ever miss her when you lay down with your baby at night?
She wonders if you still think you were right.
Or is her name still on the tip of your tongue
Just like all those songs you have sung?
How could you not feel?
Her love should have made even your heart reel.

She's starting to worry about her sanity.
Her heart says you're coming back,
But her mind says it's just her vanity.
She can't accept that you haven't missed her yet.
How could she have been so easy to forget?

Do you ever wonder how it might have been,
If you had stayed with her through thick and thin?
Do you ever wish you could have told her why
You weren't even man enough to tell her goodbye.

THE DREAM

I had a dream last night that I was back on the beach.
The moon hung low and bright just above the waves
And the wind blew my hair and my clothes all around me.
I could smell the salt in the air and taste it on my tongue.
And I felt your arms wrapped tight around me.
The crash of the waves was the only sound
And I could feel the soft, cool sand beneath my feet.
My skin was tingling from the spray as the waves broke against the sand,
And I felt the beauty of it all around me.
I felt your lips and felt your breath on my face.
Felt the strength of your hands on the small of my back.
The wind blew our words and our sighs away
And I could feel the glow of moonlight all around me.
I was caught up again in the spell of the ocean
And lost in the magic of a kiss,
As I walked on the beach in my dream last night.

INVISIBLE GIRL

She keeps a mirror by the door.
It's her defense against the world.
She checks the glass to make sure
She hasn't faded any more.

Her lover doesn't see her fear,
Or see her wipe away a tear.
He doesn't notice, doesn't hear,
But she's begun to disappear.

She has a problem she can't show.
He doesn't even want to know.
If only she didn't love him so;
Someday she knows she'll have to go.

Because she's begun to fade away,
A little more with each new day.

Her lover doesn't see her fear,
Or see her wipe away a tear.
He doesn't notice, doesn't hear,
But she's begun to disappear.

WITH THIS RING (or WHITE GOLD WIELDER)

With this ring I gave you my heart
And swore to love till death do us part
I promised to honor to cherish and love
In front of the world and God up above
And now you're telling me that wasn't enough

Can you feel the fire inside me?
Look in my eyes and you will see
The flames of your love dying in me
My mind is in darkness of endless night
And anger clouds my sense of what's right
This ring on my finger fills all my sight

With this ring I swore to be true
To be faithful and kind and love only you
Everyone says that true love can be blind
But you stood up there and said you were mine
And now you're telling me you've changed your mind

Can you feel the pain in my soul?
My eyes reflect a gaping hole
Tearing out my heart has taken its toll
But it's more than pain that fills my head
And God forgive me I wish both of us dead
This ring on my finger fills me with dread

With this ring I made you my wife
And gave you the power to destroy my life
I once thought my life would end without you
And if I lost you I didn't know what I would do
And now look what your leaving has led me to

Can you feel the power of my dreams?
I wake up screaming and I know what it means
The anger I'm feeling wants blood it seems
This violence inside me must find a release
Before these dreams can finally cease
This ring on my finger feels like a disease

SUNRISE AFTER THE TRIP

It's morning
The sun is just a glow on the horizon
Out on the waters edge
I glide down to the beach and dig my toes into the sand
I hear the crash of surf and watch the waves caress the land
And I smile and…

I think about you fast asleep in the bed I was just in
Still feel your warm soft arms around me
And your smell is on my skin
I had to slip away, down to the beach
To watch the day begin
But when the sun is up I'll slip back to our room
Into your arms again

The sun shines
A ball of red hanging on a string
On the edge of the world
But I start to feel its warmth as the ocean turns to gold
I think I should return to bed
Before the morning gets too old
And I smile and…

I think about you fast asleep in the bed I was just in
Still feel your warm soft arms around me
And your smell is on my skin
I had to slip away, down to the beach
To watch the day begin
But when the sun is up I'll slip back to our room
Into your arms again

THE CLINIC

Mama, please say you're not mad
Mama, they didn't tell me it would hurt so bad
Mama, this is the only choice I had
Mama, please say you won't tell Dad

bright lights
cold air from the air conditioning
smell of disinfectant
with a faint tinge of something else
the smell of death
cold unfeeling faces
cold hands
clinical words
the world goes dark
cold table
disorientation covers the emptiness
little white pills
make the pain go away
block the memory out
and then it's over

Mama, please say you're not mad
Mama, they didn't tell me it would hurt so bad
Mama, this is the only choice I had
Mama, please say you won't tell Dad

WHAT IT MEANS TO BE IN LOVE
~On watching "Husbands and Wives" by Woody Allen~

Can you tell me what it means to be in love?
Or why it seems like everyone
is trying so hard to be happy?
Why are we conditioned with dreams
that have no hope of coming true?
Why do we expect the happy endings
and cry for the ones that never do?

Is it right that we should settle
for comfort and companionship and
sacrifice passion and fire?
Is that what love and marriage come down to?
The unsatisfied part of your soul that you
sweep under the rug because it's
not worth losing all the rest.
Is that love?

But how can two people expect to be
the answer to every dream, every fantasy?
Is it better to be alone?
Or spend your life searching for the one
that meets every requirement.
The one that will never come.
Or do you settle and take the good
and ignore the rest?
Is that what it means to be in love?

TALK ABOUT LOVE

I don't want to talk about love
any more tonight
I don't want to think about love
any more tonight
I just want to close my eyes
Squeeze them tight
Block out sound
Block out light
I don't want to talk about love
any more tonight

We think we're in love
But what does that mean
It's just words they print
In Women's magazines

Don't ask what I want
In bed or for breakfast
Don't bother asking
How long this will last

What makes us think
That we can do more
Than millions of others
Who've tried it before

I don't want to talk about love
any more tonight
I don't want to think about love
any more tonight
I just want to close my eyes
Squeeze them tight
Block out sound
Block out light
I don't want to talk about love
any more tonight

They prove it in movies
Time after time
After the kisses
The flowers and the wine

The music stops playing
The shouting begins
They say it's forever
But forever ends

What makes us think
That we can do more
Than millions of others
Who've tried it before

Resolution

In going back through some of my old scribbles I came across these two poems. The first one, "Resolution" was written a long time ago at a time when my life was in major chaos. I had made a complete and total mess of not one, but two relationships, moved three times in six months...you get the idea. I had run off to Florida with a couple of girlfriends for a week just to get away, clear my head, try to gain some perspective. We were in St. Augustine, and went into a little store in old town called Crystal Goodies and Friends. It was a cool little metaphysical shop. On the counter right at the entrance was a basket with a sign that said "Take a Blessing." In the basket were little cards with a single word or blessing printed on each. The one I pulled out said RESOLUTION. It seemed very apropos. ~


RESOLUTION

I went in a store and it said "Take a blessing."
I shuffled the cards, I was only guessing.
When I came across one that said "resolution"
The meaning of which is to reach a solution.
So I put it in my pocket for future musing,
Knowing it was mine because life's been so confusing.
Between who, what and where, it's gotten too involved;
There's nothing I need more than to have it resolved.

Now all my belongings are in proper containers,
And I've got an apartment on a retainer.
I'm making the first step toward independence,
I can't take any more of this serving penance.
It's not really any great revolution,
But thanks to whoever granted me my resolution.



~This next one was written a little later that same year, after I had reached some sort of resolution and was trying to move on with my life and realizing that life would go on....


LIFE GOES ON

The sun warms my face
And I feel happy today.
I feel good in my own little space,
Knowing I'm doing things my own way.
The sun feels good heating my skin
And I look around and smile.
I may not know what's about to happen
But I know I'll be alright for a while.

Cats are fighting
And people are dying
But life goes on and on.
Ball games are being played,
And history is still being made,
And life just keeps going on.

The sun warms my face
And I feel glad to be alive.
Where I am isn't such a bad place,
And I finally know I'm going to survive.
The sun's in my eyes and I start to cry,
But I don't even know what's wrong.
Sooner or later we are all going to die
And in spite of it all life will go on.

By The Way

"By The Way" was the first song that Scott and I ever wrote together. We had only been dating a few months when I gave him a love poem I had written. When I saw him a few days later, he had made my poem into a song. And a good song! It is requested by many brides for weddings that he plays. Some walk down the aisle to it, and many use it as the first dance. Scott played a wedding recently where the bride and groom not only danced to it as their first dance, but also sang every word to each other. That is very cool! You can hear the song on Scott's website:
www.scottyoungberg.com.



BY THE WAY
~copyright November 1992~

There's something about you
That makes me smile even if I'm blue.
You have a way of knowing what to say
And by the way, I'm in love with you today.

There's something about you
That makes me think your love is true.
You have a way, You make me want to stay
And by the way, I'm in love with you today.
(I'm in love with you today.)

When I first saw your face all I noticed was your smile
And I thought how nice it was to watch it for a while.
And when your eyes looked into mine I knew that I was lost
But I also knew a face like that could well be worth the cost
And by the way, I'm in love with you today.

Will you take me in your arms and say you love me too?
Can you say you know just what I mean, and know just what to do?
And if I had a wish, I'd wish to always feel this way
To feel the way I feel for you today, but , anyway
I'm in love with you today.

And then I heard your voice, and the sweet way that you sang
And your words were a soft caress that fell on me like rain.
And then you reached out to me and you put your hand in mine
And you said that life's a song and we were the next line
And by the way, I'm in love with you today.
By the way...