I can see the first glow of the sunrise in my rear-view
mirror as I go through the toll plaza, heading west on Alligator Alley. The posted speed limit through the toll booth
is 25 MPH, but only the tourists go that slow and nearly cause the local
drivers to have accidents and strokes. I
tap the brakes, slowing to a modest 40 as I cruise through the lane marked “Sunpass
Only.” The credit card sized sticker on
my windshield makes no sound, and I smile to myself thinking about the old
transponders.
They were clunky grey boxes that stuck to the windshield
with suction cups, which didn't always do their job when the glass was heated
by the Florida sun and often ended up on the floor. When passing through
a toll booth, the old transponders would beep reassuringly to let you know the
toll had been paid. Years ago, when my
mother could still travel and my parents visited often, I had given them a
Sunpass transponder and set up an account on my credit card. On one of their drives from north Georgia to
the Keys, the battery was weak in their transponder and it didn't beep when
going through a few of the tolls. My
mother worried the entire drive and the way home (even though we replaced the
battery for their return trip.) She was
convinced they were going to be arrested for not paying those tolls. A few years later they were planning another visit, when Daddy told me that Mama was scared to go back to Florida because
she worried as soon as they crossed the state line they would be arrested for
dodging those tolls two years earlier!
Accelerating rapidly, I merge from one of 6 toll booths back
into two lanes. Thanking my Honda Pilot’s
V6, I quickly pull ahead of the slower traffic and make my way to the left
lane. The speed limit on Alligator Alley
is 70 MPH, so when the needle hits 80, I set the cruise control and relax. Nothing but straight, flat, smooth interstate
for the next 80 miles or so. I hope it’s
early enough that I won’t hit much traffic.
I left my house at 5 A.M. for a 10:00 meeting in Sarasota. Normally that drive takes me just a little
over 4 hours, but it's season and the traffic in all of south Florida has been terrible for a month. The snowbirds
have definitely arrived. So, I allowed 5 hours, giving myself plenty of time for a relaxed drive. I lean back in the seat and turn up the
music.
The road in front of me is straight and flat. The median is wide, so wide that in some
places the oncoming lanes aren't visible.
The terrain is flat and scrubby.
Scraggly palm trees dot the landscape, surrounded by lush palmetto, cattails,
saw grass and wire grass. A canal
borders both sides of the interstate, but I know there is also plenty of water
under all that green. They don’t call it
the River Of Grass for nothing. As the first
rays of the early morning sun reflect off the surface of the canal to my right,
I see a dark shiny arrow shape cutting a wake slowly across the glassy
surface of the water. My first ‘gator of
the drive! A little further up the road,
another glance to my right reveals two large alligators sunning themselves on a
rock beside the water. I am both
fascinated and terrified of alligators at the same time. One of my biggest fears is crashing into the
canal and being eaten by ‘gators!
Singing along with Adele about being your one and only, I am
really getting into it when I notice that I’m approaching a car ahead of me in
the left lane. For a brief moment, I
allow myself to hope that he will see me approaching and move over to the right
lane as it is wide open. Getting ever
closer and with no sign of a turn signal, that slender hope fades. Hoping to avoid releasing my cruise control,
while I’m still several car lengths behind him or her (in my mind, I’ve already
named them Indiana Lexus,) I go ahead and move over to the right lane preparing
to pass without even getting upset about it.
As I come alongside Indiana Lexus, they suddenly accelerate, pulling
ahead and leaving me behind. Shrugging
and shaking my head, unsure what reason could have prompted such behavior, I’m
just happy to be rid of them, and continue in the right lane without ever
changing my speed or coming off cruise.
I go back to singing. Adele has
been replaced by Brandi Carlile singing about the lines on her face. I glance up at my reflection in the rear-view mirror and think about the stories the lines on my face tell.
For almost ten minutes I drive in the right lane with no
other traffic in sight, singing and ‘gator spotting. After a while, I notice that I am approaching
a car in the right lane ahead, so I verify there is no other traffic behind and
slowly drift over to the left lane. As I
get closer to the vehicle in the right lane, I realize that it is Indiana
Lexus. Once again, as I come alongside
them, this time on the left hand side, they suddenly accelerate and speed off
ahead. “Weirdo,” I say aloud. No problem, I continue on.
Within just a few minutes, I start to close
the gap between myself and Indiana Lexus, who is now in the left lane because there is a semi in the right lane ahead. I peer around and it doesn't look like I can get around IL
before catching up to the truck. So, I
approach patiently, releasing my cruise control for the first time. Looking down at the speedometer, I watch the needle drop from 80 to 75, now 70…Indiana Lexus slows down to 65 miles per hour
as we are passing the truck. I admit
that I cuss at this point. As IL
finally starts to pull ahead of the truck, I assume they will move over since
they are going so slow. But, no. I am forced to wait until I also finally pull
ahead of the truck, and have to change lanes and once again pass Indiana Lexus
on the right.
As I come alongside them, what do you think happened? At this point I am getting angry. My peaceful morning drive, singing and
looking at wildlife, is being seriously harshed.
But then, after hanging neck and neck for a mile or so, they finally
drop back and I see them in my rear-view mirror, moving over to the right
lane. Satisfied, I turn up the music and
once again begin to sing along. Now it’s
the Avett Brothers, “Brooklyn, Brooklyn take me in…” It’s fun to sing along with the Avett’s,
especially when they get to the screaming parts; as long as there is not
another soul within ear shot.
There is another semi-truck in the right lane ahead,
so I make sure it’s safe and move to the left lane to pass. In my rear-view, I see Indiana do the same and
fall in behind me. Without changing my
speed (I’m still on cruise control) I begin to pass the truck. Indiana Lexus is coming ever closer in my
rear-view. By the time I am clear of the
truck, they are on my ass so bad that I can’t see their headlights. Now I am really mad. Of course I don’t move over once I’m clear of
the truck. Resisting a strong urge to
tap my brakes and scare the crap out of them, I just maintain my position and
speed. Finally IL moves over in front of
the truck, accelerates and speeds past me on the right. Resisting another very strong urge to flip
them my middle finger, I admit that I look over, hold up my hand and give him (yes, I finally see that it's a him) the “WTH?” gesture. My will power is
rewarded with a middle finger out the window as the Lexus speeds by.
Thankfully, I have reached the end of
Alligator Alley and the first Naples exit is only a couple miles ahead. I slow down just a bit and decide to stop for
the usual pit stop stuff, and for a “breather,” but mostly to let that jerk get
out of my life before I respond and ruin my day.
I make my way back onto I-75 north a little later, sipping a
fresh hot coffee and listening to Little Feat sing about all the trouble I've had today, and I wonder about Indiana Lexus.
What do you think was going through his mind during that time? Did he think that I was being aggressive and
that he was totally innocent? I often
wonder about the mentality of people on the road and wish that cars had cartoon
thought bubbles over them with the driver’s thoughts inside. I’m always saying, well probably yelling, “What
are you thinking?!” In discussing this
phenomenon with others in the past, I've heard people say that it is of course
a competitive streak, and that we are all guilty of it. As much as I drive, I've given this a lot of
thought and I don’t agree.
I think it’s probably two different types of people. 1) The
competitive driver doesn't like to be passed, likes to aggravate other drivers
just because he can, even possibly without truly realizing it. 2) The distracted
driver who just doesn't pay attention to their speed or lanes until they realize
another vehicle is involved, and then they respond in such a way to make the matter worse. Either way,
I don’t have much patience with them.
I
try to drive the speed at which I’m comfortable; I move over for faster traffic
and expect the same in return. In
general, I try to drive in such a way that my actions never cause another
driver to change their behavior because of me.
And, I expect the same in return.
Unfortunately, I realized long ago that my expectations are always miles
too high.
I hope my return trip across Alligator Alley will be uneventful.
.JPG)
.JPG)
Posts
