I recently spent the evening with some friends of mine who have a three old daughter, and I had a bit of an epiphany that I haven’t been able to clear from my mind. The mouths of babes and all, as they say, but this was more of a self realization based on the actions of a toddler.
The Mom and Little Girl and I were hanging out in the living area of the house, while the guys sequestered themselves in another room for music studio recording. Not the ideal situation, but the guy is a master at recording and producing, and a Dad, so you work with what you got. During critical moments of recording, a very daunting task fell to Mom and me…that of keeping a three old quiet. An excited three old who wanted to be right where the adults were and who didn’t want to miss a thing. An excited three old, who, upon being told she must be quiet just got more and more excited, louder and louder.
At one point, Mom tells Little Girl that she can play her racing car video game (YES, a 3 year old is playing a racing car video game, and pretty darn well, I might add! She is a smart little thing.) But, Mom tells her, she must play without sound. To which Little Girl replies, “But I want sound.” To which Mom replies, “But you can’t have sound.” Little Girl says, “But I want sound.” Mom says, “Buy you can’t have sound.” “But I want sound.” “But you can’t have sound.” “But I want sound.” “But you can’t have sound.” "But I want sound." And so it went… and it would have gone on all night except Mom, in her logical Mom wisdom, gave Little Girl the alternative distraction of watching a movie back in her room, with sound.
What I realized as I watched this interplay between child and parent, and what I continued to ruminate on over the next days, was that I think my brain is a three year old. Well, not my brain. My brain is fine, I suppose, it’s more my reasoning functions that remind me of the little girl. When I find myself in a situation where I have to deny myself, sacrifice something I really want, I find myself in a battle of wills with myself similar to that of Mom and Little Girl and the video game sound. My logical self says, “You can’t have that.” The selfish little girl in me says, “But I want it.” Logical self says, “But you can’t have it.” Little girl self, “But I want it.” “But you can’t have it.” “But I want it.” “But you can’t have it.” “But I want it.” And so on and on and on and on, infinitely with no end and no logical mom distraction, until I don’t know whether to scream or to give in to the little brat so she will just shut the hell up.
Wednesday, December 14, 2011
Baby Steps
Baby steps
Little at a time
Baby steps
You used to be mine
Crawling forward
It's all I can do
Crawling forward
To prove it to you
Baby steps
What is the cost?
Baby steps
What have I lost?
Crawling forward
Can this love last?
Crawling forward
So much in the past
Baby steps
Not gonna pretend
Baby steps
To keep my best friend
Little at a time
Baby steps
You used to be mine
Crawling forward
It's all I can do
Crawling forward
To prove it to you
Baby steps
What is the cost?
Baby steps
What have I lost?
Crawling forward
Can this love last?
Crawling forward
So much in the past
Baby steps
Not gonna pretend
Baby steps
To keep my best friend
Friday, November 18, 2011
She Gets It All
She made a plan
Tracked down the man
She made a call
And risked it all
Telling herself she wasn’t in the wrong
But knew what she was doing all along
Because she always gets her way
Always has the last word to say
Nobody saw that she was headed for a fall
Because she always gets it all
She played it cool
Played him a fool
Looked in his eyes
And told him lies
She thought she could keep him on a string
Thought he would never know a thing
Because she always gets her way
Always has the last word to say
Nobody saw that she was headed for a fall
Because she always gets it all
She blames whiskey
Pleads insanity (She had her fun)
Played the wrong card
Let down her guard (What’s done is done)
She blames whiskey
Pleads insanity (She had her fun)
Played the wrong hand
Played the wrong man (He was the one)
She’s on her knees
She begs and pleads
Now everyday
She’ll have to pay
Holding on to the fickle hand of fate
She won’t let go, too little or too late
Because she always gets her way
Always has the last word to say
Nobody saw that she was headed for a fall
Because she always gets it all
Tracked down the man
She made a call
And risked it all
Telling herself she wasn’t in the wrong
But knew what she was doing all along
Because she always gets her way
Always has the last word to say
Nobody saw that she was headed for a fall
Because she always gets it all
She played it cool
Played him a fool
Looked in his eyes
And told him lies
She thought she could keep him on a string
Thought he would never know a thing
Because she always gets her way
Always has the last word to say
Nobody saw that she was headed for a fall
Because she always gets it all
She blames whiskey
Pleads insanity (She had her fun)
Played the wrong card
Let down her guard (What’s done is done)
She blames whiskey
Pleads insanity (She had her fun)
Played the wrong hand
Played the wrong man (He was the one)
She’s on her knees
She begs and pleads
Now everyday
She’ll have to pay
Holding on to the fickle hand of fate
She won’t let go, too little or too late
Because she always gets her way
Always has the last word to say
Nobody saw that she was headed for a fall
Because she always gets it all
Lovesick
I close my eyes and see your face
Every line of you my mind can trace
My fingers ache to feel your skin
My body begs for the bed you're in
I need your eyes to look at me
Reflecting back all the love you see
I long to feel your lips on mine
Need to hold you tight until the end of time
I'm sick in love but there is a cure
That's one thing that I know for sure
These lovesick blues would blow away
If I could hold you in my arms today
I hear your voice and it makes me smile
I'll hold that sound in my head for a while
I want to bring you laughs and love
Give you everything you're dreaming of
I can feel your hands caress my skin
Don't know where I end and you begin
Our arms and legs so intertwined
Tangled up in sheets and love combined
I'm sick in love but there is a cure
That's one thing that I know for sure
These lovesick blues would blow away
If I could hold you in my arms today
Every line of you my mind can trace
My fingers ache to feel your skin
My body begs for the bed you're in
I need your eyes to look at me
Reflecting back all the love you see
I long to feel your lips on mine
Need to hold you tight until the end of time
I'm sick in love but there is a cure
That's one thing that I know for sure
These lovesick blues would blow away
If I could hold you in my arms today
I hear your voice and it makes me smile
I'll hold that sound in my head for a while
I want to bring you laughs and love
Give you everything you're dreaming of
I can feel your hands caress my skin
Don't know where I end and you begin
Our arms and legs so intertwined
Tangled up in sheets and love combined
I'm sick in love but there is a cure
That's one thing that I know for sure
These lovesick blues would blow away
If I could hold you in my arms today
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