I recently spent the evening with some friends of mine who have a three old daughter, and I had a bit of an epiphany that I haven’t been able to clear from my mind. The mouths of babes and all, as they say, but this was more of a self realization based on the actions of a toddler.
The Mom and Little Girl and I were hanging out in the living area of the house, while the guys sequestered themselves in another room for music studio recording. Not the ideal situation, but the guy is a master at recording and producing, and a Dad, so you work with what you got. During critical moments of recording, a very daunting task fell to Mom and me…that of keeping a three old quiet. An excited three old who wanted to be right where the adults were and who didn’t want to miss a thing. An excited three old, who, upon being told she must be quiet just got more and more excited, louder and louder.
At one point, Mom tells Little Girl that she can play her racing car video game (YES, a 3 year old is playing a racing car video game, and pretty darn well, I might add! She is a smart little thing.) But, Mom tells her, she must play without sound. To which Little Girl replies, “But I want sound.” To which Mom replies, “But you can’t have sound.” Little Girl says, “But I want sound.” Mom says, “Buy you can’t have sound.” “But I want sound.” “But you can’t have sound.” “But I want sound.” “But you can’t have sound.” "But I want sound." And so it went… and it would have gone on all night except Mom, in her logical Mom wisdom, gave Little Girl the alternative distraction of watching a movie back in her room, with sound.
What I realized as I watched this interplay between child and parent, and what I continued to ruminate on over the next days, was that I think my brain is a three year old. Well, not my brain. My brain is fine, I suppose, it’s more my reasoning functions that remind me of the little girl. When I find myself in a situation where I have to deny myself, sacrifice something I really want, I find myself in a battle of wills with myself similar to that of Mom and Little Girl and the video game sound. My logical self says, “You can’t have that.” The selfish little girl in me says, “But I want it.” Logical self says, “But you can’t have it.” Little girl self, “But I want it.” “But you can’t have it.” “But I want it.” “But you can’t have it.” “But I want it.” And so on and on and on and on, infinitely with no end and no logical mom distraction, until I don’t know whether to scream or to give in to the little brat so she will just shut the hell up.
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